Kind to the Ungrateful

This morning as I was reading a chapter in the Gospel of Luke, I was overwhelmed meditating on how God loves the ungrateful and works in me to do the same: 

"But love your enemies, and do good, and lend, expecting nothing in return, and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High, for he is kind to the ungrateful and the evil. Be merciful, even as your Father is merciful." Luke 6:35-36

In recent days, I've noticed my son doing much more whining and pouting than he ever has. Some say, "oh, it's just the terrible twos and he'll get over it." I say it's part an inadequacy to properly communicate his needs and wants, and partly an ungratefulness for what he already has. In response to the abundance of whining going on around this little apartment, it is far too easy to become impatient, harsh, and unkind. I find myself being sharp with my words and quick with my actions. Oftentimes, I feel like the whining has brought me to the end of my rope. And THEN, God opens my eyes, yet again, to the wonderous things in His law...

Unlike me and my tendency to get up-tight and short-tempered, God, my perfect Heavenly Father is kind to the ungrateful and evil. In all my silent complaints against God's providence and goodness, I am doing nothing less than being a big whiner and yet God in His perfect love and compassion, graciously reminds me that He is kind, gentle, patient, and forgiving of the whining that so grieves Him. He is good and only seeks good for those who love Him and here I am restless in the face of His sovereignty. 

As a momma, my life is characterized by giving without return and spending without instant reward. In my selfishness, I can get "overwhelmed" by how much I am exerting and how little I'm getting in return. However, this little gem of Scripture reminds me that I am called to give without receiving because my Father in Heaven has given the ultimate Gift without any price that I could ever pay! He has loved His enemies, done good to those who rebel against Him, and given expecting nothing in return by sending His Son to atone for my sins - ungratefulness being one of them. 

During the times that I am tempted to snap because I've said "no" more than I've blinked and have heard "nah nah nah" for the umpteenth time, I will seek to remember the gracious kindness of my Father toward a whiny, ungrateful, unkind, yet forgiven sinner like me.

May my words be gentle and kind and may I reflect the character of my perfect, kind, patient, and loving Father to my precious children every moment of their lives...

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A new {and fun} challenge!

Yesterday, I took on a new challenge. Photo-a-day. Joshua encouraged me to pursue photography as a hobby and I'm so glad he did. I LOVE it! And to help cultivate both a love and a talent for this art, I've decided to take a specific photo a day. This, of course, does not limit me to only one photo, but helps encourage me on days that I may not feel as "snappy" with the camera. I found the list here and plan to visit it each month and download it to my calendar. 

This week, I plan on posting a 2012 review {a little late} with highlights from this past year, but for now I'll finish with yesterday and today's Photo-a-Day :)

{TODAY 01.01.13}

This photo is what yesterday was all about...New goals and resolutions. Although I am not the type to be gung-ho about New Year's Resolutions, I do love the idea of starting fresh with goals for a better, godlier year. So I started a "Goals for 2013" list and pray that as I work on it, God uses it to convict me in areas I need to grow and gives me grace to change! Here are my four overarching resolves that consist of specific, tangible, and reasonable goals:

1. Grow more intimately with the LORD by:...
2. Love my husband by:...
3. Love my children by:...
4. Care for others by:...

It has been refreshing to explore Scripture more intentionally to form these specific aims. I will continue to review my list and add as the Lord lays it on my heart and brings it to my attention. 

{SOMETHING NEW 01.02.13}

Although this little guy isn't "brand" new, he's definitely new-ish, and I can never resist snapping a photo of him, so I used him to January 2nd's Photo-a-Day :)

May God grant us all stamina and faith to continue well in this brand-new year!

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Cup overflowing! {2 weeks. 18 months.}

So I wanted to be very diligent about updating my blog about the milestones that Benjamin and Samuel hit from this point on because I found that when I went to make Samuel's baby book, I was not very successful remembering all the nitty gritty details. However, to be extremely exact when documenting smiles, snapping pictures, and various other activities that must be done to keep up, it's just almost close to impossible. I mean, I have an 18 month old and a 2-week old, for cryin' out loud! Can you believe that? TWO SONS!

Here are the stats of Benjamin's birth:

Born at 2:37pm, weighing in at 9lbs, 1oz, with a height of 20.5 inches! 

The past 2 weeks have been the craziest whirl-wind from giving birth to Benjamin, having family in town, being told that Benjamin was not gaining enough weight, to balancing the beautiful chaos that is Samuel Clutterham! It has been full of ups and downs, but has been so precious thus far.

In the first week, we have been working on getting Benjamin to eat better and to gain more weight. When we first went into the Dr. (a bit earlier than 1 week since he was a little jaundice), Benjamin had gone from 9lbs1oz (birth weight) to 8lbs3oz. The Dr. told me to begin supplementing his feedings with extra breast-milk. This is exactly what happened with Samuel so I was prepared to begin this journey of long pumping sessions and bottle experimentation. Benjamin seemed to be doing a lot better, however when we went in 2 days later, Benjamin had not gained anything! I was devastated as I felt I had been working so hard to plump him up. With that, I determined to work diligently day and night to get this guy gaining weight. We continued the regiman and two days later we went into Dr. Nick's office and Benjamin had gained 9oz! Bringing him to 8lbs12oz! What a relief and praise to our gracious God!

In the past two weeks, Benjamin has grown (not only physically) so much! He is eating much better and sleeping better as well. We have some hiccups during day-time naps, but for the most part, he is a pretty consistent baby. He wakes up once during the night to be fed and falls (for the most part) right back to sleep until I wake him at 7am to get him fed before big brother wakes up at 8. 

Samuel is enjoying the baby more and more. He runs into our bedroom to see his little brother, which usually ends in us escorting him out so that Benjamin can rest. He is very interested when he gets the opportunity to interact with little brother and tries to touch his nose, eyes, ears, or head. I think he likes how soft Benjamin feels. He gets very, very excited when he's allowed to explore :)

 We enjoyed a short stroll in the neighborhood in our double stroller. I love how the side Benjamin sits on can recline all the way back so that he is able to join in the fun! I look forward to when both of the boys are sitting up enjoying the view...and each other! 

Along with new adventures and new challenges, we have also been blessed with a wonderful ministry through Baxter Avenue Church! The MEAL ministry! Throughout the past two weeks, God has provided wonderfully tasty meals through this amazing ministry! Unfortunately, I haven't taken pictures of every meal or visitor, but if I had, I would proudly display them :)

Until next time, here are a few pictures that we took in the hospital of Benjamin Henry Clutterham:

Benjamin meeting Dr. Nick for the first time! He is such a great pediatrician!

Coming HOME!

FIRST BATH {9.25.12}

Tummy time :)

Join me in praising our living God for such sweet blessings! He is so good and gracious!

{Forgive me if this post seems a little scatter-brained. Hopefully future posts will be a little more "together" :)}

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Goodbye 2011 - eucharisteo!

As we approach the ending of 2011, I am utterly amazed at how fast time has flown by me. Is it because this year was full of such exciting events with the birth of our first son and Joshua's graduation? Is it the fact that I'm a year older and time simply does that with age? Is it that I'm a new momma and days are busier and speedier? Who knows. What I do know is that another year has gone by and we prepare to welcome in the new year with all the hopes, desires, resolutions, and challenges that comes with the flipping of one more calendar page to 2012! 

I'm not a huge fan of making new year resolutions because I often break them which leaves me confused and miserable. But after reading Charles Spurgeon's Morning and Evening, I am reminded of my great responsibility to constantly resolve to love God and to love people with a true passion for God's glory. In today's reading, Spurgeon urges, with such intensity, his readers to come to Jesus! To live a changed life! To repent! And although I have already placed my full faith in Jesus and His incomprehensible work on the cross, I ask myself, "what are you living for??" Am I making an impact for the kingdom of God, loving God with all my heart, mind, soul, and strength? Am I dying to self to love people with a Jesus-kind of love? When I examine my heart, even just briefly, I am faced with the ugly reality that I fall much too short of the mark! God has called His children to live radical lives in response to the miraculous work He has done in their lives, yet I often live my ordinary life without much thought to the extraordinary calling I've been given. {shame} 

However, Praise be to God that He doesn't leave me to wallow in a realization that I am utterly unable to live a redeemed life without the help of His Spirit! He gives us promise after promise that He will uphold us and help us live lives to glorify His great name! 

But go, act, be strong for the battle. Why should you supposed that God will cast you down before the enemy? For God has power to help or to cast down." 2 Chronicles 25:8 

The LORD is my strength and my shield; in him my heart trusts, and I am helped; my heart exults, and with my song I give thanks to him. Psalm 28:7 

As for me, I am poor and needy, but the Lord takes thought for me. You are my help and my deliverer; do not delay, O my God! Psalm 40:17 

Behold, God is my helper; the Lord is the upholder of my life. Psalm 54:4May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope.  Romans 15:13 

Today is a new day and the last day of another year passed--A year of joy, sorrow, excitement, fear, change, blessings and eucharisteo. I desire that this year would be one of only thanksgiving for everything that God brings into our lives and a year of opportunity to follow Him more closely and to love others radically!! Though I do not like resolutions because of my own weaknesses, I resolve to FIGHT the fight of faith with the help of the Holy Spirit and the graciousness of my husband, family, and friends. I resolve to live a generous life of prayer, studying God's Word, and serving in ways that will bring glory to God! I do not want to live a mundane life and look back with regrets, but I want to look back and see that I was spent for the gospel and for others!

May this year be full of joy, sorrow, excitement, fear, change, and blessings and my heart be full of thanksgiving! 

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

~~~

Our year in review :)

 Joshua picks up hockey again in January!

February marked my last month of pregnancy!

On March 24th, we welcomed Samuel Norton Clutterham into our lives. {Bliss}

April is full of naps and late-night feedings...Zzzz

 Grandma Ruth meets Samuel for the first time in May! :)

My dear friend, Sandy and her husband Daniel, welcome their baby girl, Madison Joy into the world in June. And we continue to enjoy Samuel's precious smiles! 

In July, Samuel makes his first trip to California to meet his cousins, William, Dylan, Caden, and Riley! What fun! :)

In August, Matt and Amber Riccaboni welcome little Zacchaeus! So great to share this precious time with a precious friend! I love you, Amber-Leigh!

 Joshua experiences his first Gator game in the Swamp (September!). We lose :(

 October is full of celebration when we visit St. Louis for Aaron and Michelle Odle's wedding!

In November, we saw Grandma Ruth for the last time. It was a sweet time of remembering precious moments and making even more. I miss her so much.

December. Oh what a month to remember, cherish, mourn, and offer up thanksgiving. I will never forget this December as it was one of grief and sorrow, yet joy and cheer! This December, we enjoyed picking out our VERY FIRST Christmas tree, welcoming Dad and Jan for a visit to Louisville, celebrating Joshua's accomplishments during his graduation, and marveling at Samuel's wonder of all the newness of the Christmas season.

During the month of December, we also said goodbye to the greatest grandma a girl could have and on that same day found out that we were pregnant with our second child, only a week later to learn that she (we named her Nessah) only lived for a short time in my body. 

Though we had much sorrow this month, we also celebrated the birth of Jesus on Christmas, got away for our 2nd Anniversary! and enjoyed the fun festivities of Samuel's First Hanukkah!!! What a month, eh? We are thankful beyond imagination for God's provision of grace, comfort, peace, friends, family, and everlasting life in His Son, Jesus! We have much more than we deserve and we lift of praises to God!

  

 May this year be the best one yet! Welcome, 2012! 

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Think and Pray

Shalom!

What a good weekend! It started off with some good ol' Chick-fil-a on Friday with our "Buy a drink and fries, get a free sandwich" coupon, continued with some productivity towards school, followed by a great sermon at church about the story of Joseph and how his life points to the life of Jesus... All of this after a big ol' healthy helping of humble pie! {{sigh}} 

Humble pie.

No, but really. God has been doing some major renovations in this heart of mine! I am beyond thankful, though, for my wonderful husband who loves me enough to let me relax while he prepares a big slice of my favorite (well...) dessert. Joshua has been used numerous times to point out areas in my life that do not reflect biblical womanhood, let alone Christ-likeness, very well.

Well, this week's humble pie flavor was (drum roll, please)........... self-control, the tongue, and thoughtfulness! Yum!

After a series of events and responses, we pin-pointed something in my heart that needs some serious heart-makeover! Many places in Scripture, God exhorts believers to guard their tongues, hearts, and minds. In essence, He calls them to exercise self-control in all areas of life. Here are a few general examples of this command:

"...train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled." Titus 2:4-5

"...for God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control." 2 Timothy 1:7

"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law." Galatians 5:22-23

"A man without self-control is like a city broken into and left without walls." Proverbs 25:28

There are others that I could mention, but these get the idea across that God wants us to be self-controlled. Period.

God has told us to be self-controlled, but He has also been pretty specific about a few areas that He desires us to have self-control in. Two areas in particular are our tongues and our emotions.

Here is where God is making it very clear that I'm not nearly as sanctified as I ought to be. But praise be to Him that He is a God who works in the hearts of those He loves. {{sigh}} 

I'm pretty quick to say what I'm thinking. I'm also pretty opinionated. Oh and I often wear my heart on my sleeve. All things that can get me into some serious trouble. After realizing that these are not fitting for a 26 year old wife and momma seeking to reflect redemption and biblical womanhood, I said, "well, how in the world am I supposed to change??" (So much for getting an MABC, huh? ;)) 

My precious husband is pretty much the greatest biblical counselor I know, just sayin'. He lead me straight to Scripture to help me better understand God's heart in this matter and how I can change for His glory. Here are some of the passages Joshua brought to my attention:

"When he was reviled, he did not revile in return; when he suffered, he did not threaten, but continued entrusting himself to him who judges justly..." 1 Peter 2:23


"...let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious." 1 Peter 3:4

"The heart of the righteous ponders how to answer, but the mouth of the wicked pours out evil things." Proverbs 15:28


"But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh...If we live by the Spirit, let us also walk by the Spirit." Galatians 5:16, 25

What God taught me (and is still teaching me) is that I need to do a lot more thinking and a TON more praying before I open this trap of mine! When I am walking in the Spirit, I am better able to ponder how to respond to the circumstances I face and am better able to cultivate a spirit of kindness and gentleness to those God places in my life. If I am Spirit-filled and not walking in the flesh, my responses should begin to look more like Christ's than my old self. Jesus, my perfect example of self-control and Spirit-filled living, died a sinner's death for ME, never once shouting His opinion, arguing for His rights, or responding in foolishness. I really, really, really want to be more like my Lord! I want my responses to all things to be an outflow of my thankfulness for all that God is and all that He has done!

May God make me this kind of woman: She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue. Proverbs 31:26

Here's a picture of my precious family:

My loves.

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