Goodbye 2011 - eucharisteo!

As we approach the ending of 2011, I am utterly amazed at how fast time has flown by me. Is it because this year was full of such exciting events with the birth of our first son and Joshua's graduation? Is it the fact that I'm a year older and time simply does that with age? Is it that I'm a new momma and days are busier and speedier? Who knows. What I do know is that another year has gone by and we prepare to welcome in the new year with all the hopes, desires, resolutions, and challenges that comes with the flipping of one more calendar page to 2012! 

I'm not a huge fan of making new year resolutions because I often break them which leaves me confused and miserable. But after reading Charles Spurgeon's Morning and Evening, I am reminded of my great responsibility to constantly resolve to love God and to love people with a true passion for God's glory. In today's reading, Spurgeon urges, with such intensity, his readers to come to Jesus! To live a changed life! To repent! And although I have already placed my full faith in Jesus and His incomprehensible work on the cross, I ask myself, "what are you living for??" Am I making an impact for the kingdom of God, loving God with all my heart, mind, soul, and strength? Am I dying to self to love people with a Jesus-kind of love? When I examine my heart, even just briefly, I am faced with the ugly reality that I fall much too short of the mark! God has called His children to live radical lives in response to the miraculous work He has done in their lives, yet I often live my ordinary life without much thought to the extraordinary calling I've been given. {shame} 

However, Praise be to God that He doesn't leave me to wallow in a realization that I am utterly unable to live a redeemed life without the help of His Spirit! He gives us promise after promise that He will uphold us and help us live lives to glorify His great name! 

But go, act, be strong for the battle. Why should you supposed that God will cast you down before the enemy? For God has power to help or to cast down." 2 Chronicles 25:8 

The LORD is my strength and my shield; in him my heart trusts, and I am helped; my heart exults, and with my song I give thanks to him. Psalm 28:7 

As for me, I am poor and needy, but the Lord takes thought for me. You are my help and my deliverer; do not delay, O my God! Psalm 40:17 

Behold, God is my helper; the Lord is the upholder of my life. Psalm 54:4May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope.  Romans 15:13 

Today is a new day and the last day of another year passed--A year of joy, sorrow, excitement, fear, change, blessings and eucharisteo. I desire that this year would be one of only thanksgiving for everything that God brings into our lives and a year of opportunity to follow Him more closely and to love others radically!! Though I do not like resolutions because of my own weaknesses, I resolve to FIGHT the fight of faith with the help of the Holy Spirit and the graciousness of my husband, family, and friends. I resolve to live a generous life of prayer, studying God's Word, and serving in ways that will bring glory to God! I do not want to live a mundane life and look back with regrets, but I want to look back and see that I was spent for the gospel and for others!

May this year be full of joy, sorrow, excitement, fear, change, and blessings and my heart be full of thanksgiving! 

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

~~~

Our year in review :)

 Joshua picks up hockey again in January!

February marked my last month of pregnancy!

On March 24th, we welcomed Samuel Norton Clutterham into our lives. {Bliss}

April is full of naps and late-night feedings...Zzzz

 Grandma Ruth meets Samuel for the first time in May! :)

My dear friend, Sandy and her husband Daniel, welcome their baby girl, Madison Joy into the world in June. And we continue to enjoy Samuel's precious smiles! 

In July, Samuel makes his first trip to California to meet his cousins, William, Dylan, Caden, and Riley! What fun! :)

In August, Matt and Amber Riccaboni welcome little Zacchaeus! So great to share this precious time with a precious friend! I love you, Amber-Leigh!

 Joshua experiences his first Gator game in the Swamp (September!). We lose :(

 October is full of celebration when we visit St. Louis for Aaron and Michelle Odle's wedding!

In November, we saw Grandma Ruth for the last time. It was a sweet time of remembering precious moments and making even more. I miss her so much.

December. Oh what a month to remember, cherish, mourn, and offer up thanksgiving. I will never forget this December as it was one of grief and sorrow, yet joy and cheer! This December, we enjoyed picking out our VERY FIRST Christmas tree, welcoming Dad and Jan for a visit to Louisville, celebrating Joshua's accomplishments during his graduation, and marveling at Samuel's wonder of all the newness of the Christmas season.

During the month of December, we also said goodbye to the greatest grandma a girl could have and on that same day found out that we were pregnant with our second child, only a week later to learn that she (we named her Nessah) only lived for a short time in my body. 

Though we had much sorrow this month, we also celebrated the birth of Jesus on Christmas, got away for our 2nd Anniversary! and enjoyed the fun festivities of Samuel's First Hanukkah!!! What a month, eh? We are thankful beyond imagination for God's provision of grace, comfort, peace, friends, family, and everlasting life in His Son, Jesus! We have much more than we deserve and we lift of praises to God!

  

 May this year be the best one yet! Welcome, 2012! 

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Running on Envy {RealityLA}

It has been a while and I regret not writing on my blog in so long, but I have been thinking through some things and plan to write a few thoughts on trusting God in the next couple of weeks! I'm super excited as God has been teaching me a great deal about trusting Him and what that looks like on a practical level. So, stay tuned ;) 

But in the meantime, I wanted to post a sermon/video that a dear friend sent to me about {envy}! It is very sobering and definitely worth the hour of listening.

Tell me your thoughts after listening! I would love to hear them!

Running On Envy from Realityla on Vimeo.

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Then sings my soul...

This blog is in need of some serious updating and though I would love to pour my heart out, I have little words for all that has happened in the past two weeks. Perhaps bits and pieces will make it into future posts, but for now, I'll leave you with lyrics to two songs that have ministered to my heart in recent days.

***

{Your Hands by JJ Heller}

I have unanswered prayers
I have trouble I wish wasn't there
And I have asked a thousand ways
That You would take my pain away
That You would take my pain away

I am trying to understand
How to walk this weary land
Make straight the paths that crookedly lie
Oh Lord, before these feet of mine
Oh Lord, before these feet of mine

When my world is shaking
Heaven stands
When my heart is breaking
I never leave Your hands

When You walked upon the Earth
You healed the broken, lost, and hurt
I know You hate to see me cry
One day You will set all things right
Yea, one day You will set all things right

When my world is shaking
Heaven stands
When my heart is breaking
I never leave Your hands

Your hands
Your hands that shape the world
Are holding me, they hold me still
Your hands that shape the world
Are holding me, they hold me still

***

{The Lord will Provide by Matthew Smith}

Though troubles assail and dangers affright,
Though friends should all fail and foes all unite;
Yet one thing secures us, whatever betide,
The scripture assures us, the Lord will provide

The birds without barn or storehouse are fed,
From them let us learn to trust for our bread:
His saints, what is fitting, shall ne'er be denied,
So long as it's written, the Lord will provide

We may, like the ships, by tempest be tossed
On perilous deeps, but cannot be lost.
Though Satan enrages the wind and the tide,
The promise engages, the Lord will provide.

His call we obey, like Abram of old,
Not knowing our way, but faith makes us bold;
For though we are strangers we have a good Guide,
And trust in all dangers, the Lord will provide

When Satan appears to stop up our path,
And fill us with fears, we triumph by faith;
He cannot take from us, though oft he has tried,
This heart-cheering promise, the Lord will provide 

He tells us we're weak, our hope is in vain,
The good that we seek we ne'er shall obtain,
But when such suggestions our spirits have plied,
This answers all questions, the Lord will provide

No strength of our own, or goodness we claim,
Yet since we have known the Savior's great name;
In this our strong tower for safety we hide,
The Lord is our power, the Lord will provide

When life sinks apace and death is in view,
This word of his grace shall comfort us through:
No fearing or doubting with Christ on our side,
We hope to die shouting the Lord will provide

Eucharisteo! God is good, all the time!

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Thanksgiving Recap - Photos

Since I've decided that this blog would be one of a melting pot of things (thoughts, prayers, personal, etc.), I thought a review of our Thanksgiving holiday would be a fun and light-hearted post! We had a wonderful time visiting family and friends, while enjoying yummy food and Thanksgiving festivities! Here are only a few highlights of our trip to Florida! 

Samuel enjoying time with Grandma (I didn't get any on my phone of Samuel and Grandpa, but he enjoyed time with him as well!)

Spent lots of time with cousin Paxton.

Sweet fellowship with {precious} sisters in the Lord!

Joshua helping the Harsch kids build a fort!

Love this!

Thanksgiving morning!

He is so attentive to my reading!

Went to a movie with Joshua Thanksgiving night! I was anticipating great crowds and insisted we get to the theater at least 30 minutes early. This is what it looked like :)

Then, Joshua and I decided to be adventurous and check out Wal-Mart at midnight....HA

Taking a family walk to the park!

Samuel swinging at the All Children's Park - the same park I walked to with my parents and friends my entire childhood. Such sweet memories!

A surprise visit with my best friend from high school, Julie! It was nice to catch up and see her smiling face again. We both live in Kentucky but have to drive/fly 850 miles to see each other. It's worth every mile :)

{Precious} visit with Grandma Ruth! It wasn't the greatest of circumstances but it was so sweet to reminisce with her and for her to enjoy Samuel!

Completely zonked as we walked through the Atlanta Airport on our way home!

Thankful to God for memories made, words spoken, and lessons learned! 

May God be glorified in our giving thanks for all that He had done and given! What a good God!

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Turbulence

Our little family is spending the Thanksgiving holiday with my side of the family this week. I'll definitely post some pictures of our time here when we get back to Louisville! 

Joshua is joining me and Samuel this afternoon as he had some work and school things to wrap up in KY. We are SO excited to see him and have missed him so much! Samuel and I took a very early flight on Friday morning, which was really smooth (Samuel makes flying with a baby seem easy. Eucharisteo.) However, as we neared the end of our two flights and were descending in to the Daytona Beach area, we hit some pretty intense turbulence. I love flying but when we go through clouds, my face turns white, I begin to sweat, and life suddenly becomes very serious and precious to me. Well, as Samuel was cooing and entertaining the other passengers, we hit a cluster of clouds (which felt like a mountain range) and the bumping began. I held on tight and looked around. Was anyone else clutching the arm rests and whispering prayers?! Get a grip, Mer.

After things leveled off and I was confident the plane wasn't going down, I began to think rationally again. I began thinking about my own reaction to turbulence on the plane as well as the "turbulence" of life. How can I be so faithless at times, worrying about the future, and allowing myself to be troubled in my spirit? Then I looked at Samuel who was still sitting there as content as could be, trusting in his momma to protect him and care for him. Through the bumps, he kept his smile and composure, unmoved by the potential chaos around him. I thought, "wow, if only I trusted my heavenly Father with such simple and child-like faith..." And how much more does God care for me and every detail of my life than I even do for Samuel! That is absolutely unfathomable to me, but it brings me great joy and comfort. 

I don't want to be like Peter, who, "when he saw the wind, he was afraid, and beginning to sink he cried out, "Lord, save me" (Matt. 14:30). Here, Jesus had just walked on the water and Peter asked Jesus if he could walk to Him. Instead of keeping his eyes and faith on Jesus, he shifted his attention to the circumstances where Peter began fretting and not trusting in the Lord. I want to look to Jesus with eyes of faith and trust, knowing that He is taking hold of me and directing each of my steps. 

God is so faithful to give us little lessons in everyday life of His goodness in our lives. May I always focus on the author and finisher of my faith, persevering in trusting Him!

I lift up my eyes to the hills.
   From where does my help come?
My help comes from the LORD,
   who made heaven and earth.

He will not let your foot be moved;
   he who keeps you will not slumber. Behold, he who keeps Israel
   will neither slumber nor sleep.

The LORD is your keeper;
   the LORD is your shade on your right hand. The sun shall not strike you by day,
   nor the moon by night.

The LORD will keep you from all evil;
   he will keep your life. The LORD will keep
   your going out and your coming in
   from this time forth and forevermore. Psalm 121

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Think and Pray

Shalom!

What a good weekend! It started off with some good ol' Chick-fil-a on Friday with our "Buy a drink and fries, get a free sandwich" coupon, continued with some productivity towards school, followed by a great sermon at church about the story of Joseph and how his life points to the life of Jesus... All of this after a big ol' healthy helping of humble pie! {{sigh}} 

Humble pie.

No, but really. God has been doing some major renovations in this heart of mine! I am beyond thankful, though, for my wonderful husband who loves me enough to let me relax while he prepares a big slice of my favorite (well...) dessert. Joshua has been used numerous times to point out areas in my life that do not reflect biblical womanhood, let alone Christ-likeness, very well.

Well, this week's humble pie flavor was (drum roll, please)........... self-control, the tongue, and thoughtfulness! Yum!

After a series of events and responses, we pin-pointed something in my heart that needs some serious heart-makeover! Many places in Scripture, God exhorts believers to guard their tongues, hearts, and minds. In essence, He calls them to exercise self-control in all areas of life. Here are a few general examples of this command:

"...train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled." Titus 2:4-5

"...for God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control." 2 Timothy 1:7

"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law." Galatians 5:22-23

"A man without self-control is like a city broken into and left without walls." Proverbs 25:28

There are others that I could mention, but these get the idea across that God wants us to be self-controlled. Period.

God has told us to be self-controlled, but He has also been pretty specific about a few areas that He desires us to have self-control in. Two areas in particular are our tongues and our emotions.

Here is where God is making it very clear that I'm not nearly as sanctified as I ought to be. But praise be to Him that He is a God who works in the hearts of those He loves. {{sigh}} 

I'm pretty quick to say what I'm thinking. I'm also pretty opinionated. Oh and I often wear my heart on my sleeve. All things that can get me into some serious trouble. After realizing that these are not fitting for a 26 year old wife and momma seeking to reflect redemption and biblical womanhood, I said, "well, how in the world am I supposed to change??" (So much for getting an MABC, huh? ;)) 

My precious husband is pretty much the greatest biblical counselor I know, just sayin'. He lead me straight to Scripture to help me better understand God's heart in this matter and how I can change for His glory. Here are some of the passages Joshua brought to my attention:

"When he was reviled, he did not revile in return; when he suffered, he did not threaten, but continued entrusting himself to him who judges justly..." 1 Peter 2:23


"...let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious." 1 Peter 3:4

"The heart of the righteous ponders how to answer, but the mouth of the wicked pours out evil things." Proverbs 15:28


"But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh...If we live by the Spirit, let us also walk by the Spirit." Galatians 5:16, 25

What God taught me (and is still teaching me) is that I need to do a lot more thinking and a TON more praying before I open this trap of mine! When I am walking in the Spirit, I am better able to ponder how to respond to the circumstances I face and am better able to cultivate a spirit of kindness and gentleness to those God places in my life. If I am Spirit-filled and not walking in the flesh, my responses should begin to look more like Christ's than my old self. Jesus, my perfect example of self-control and Spirit-filled living, died a sinner's death for ME, never once shouting His opinion, arguing for His rights, or responding in foolishness. I really, really, really want to be more like my Lord! I want my responses to all things to be an outflow of my thankfulness for all that God is and all that He has done!

May God make me this kind of woman: She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue. Proverbs 31:26

Here's a picture of my precious family:

My loves.

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